Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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