Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
