Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
he was CRYING into my vagina
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
