Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
