yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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