The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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