She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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