I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
