THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
