Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
