Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
