I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
