operation harelip BJ is a go
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
