i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I think your dad took our porno
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Randomize
