a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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