ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
