this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
