So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Randomize
