is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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