Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
