Please, let me fuck your mom
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
