It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
