Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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