The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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