Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
