wakey wakey hands off snakey
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
