after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
