no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
50% drunk capacity currently
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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