so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
