Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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