Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
