Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Randomize
