I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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