Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
