with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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