Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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