I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
we made out on top of his cat.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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