the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
