There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
you didnt know i had herpes?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
