Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
