Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
i think im in europe. pls send help
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
