just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
