Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize