why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
