I feel great
I just peed on a car
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
