i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
