my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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