Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
