So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
