Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I just blew my weed a kiss
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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