how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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