So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
