I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize