She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
