dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Bring me that man meat
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
