her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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