erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
This is the high leading the old right now
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
