Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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