I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
