what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
