she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
The feeling are messing with the penis
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
