Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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