I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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