I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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