I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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